By day, Scott is a brilliant IT/software engineer, successful and very much relied upon at work.

But at heart, Scott is a fine art photographer. He’s pouring all his talents and efforts into Toad Hollow Photography and it’s taking off. In a major way.

Now the question is – when is it time to leap and make his dream a full-time gig? How does he know? What are the signs? Because leaping too late is just as dangerous as leaping too soon, as you’ll hear in this interview.

P.S. Speak your mind below. What did you take away from the show? What are you reinventing? We’d love to engage with you!

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Last year Chris Padgett was diagnosed with a rare eye disease that is slowly taking away his eyesight. He’s taking this as an invitation to reinvent.

Mai Vu, Reinvention Circle co-founder, interviews Chris about how he’s handling this crisis, what it’s like to be consciously loosing his eyesight, how he’s re-envisioning his future.

We’re so grateful to have Chris sharing his reinvention story with us.

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What does this mean exactly? It means responding to a major life crisis with a shallow fix. Like ditching your marriage for a better one, instead of having the courage to face your own pattern once and for all.

The problem? As they say, “Wherever you go, there you are.” So you invariably end up with the same ‘ol person! Listen as Mai and Roy talk candidly about how they’ve fallen into this trap before. And how you’ll do the same thing.

Unless, that is, you reinvent something much deeper inside you.

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At the height of her career as a jet-setting marketing exec, Michele realized she’d lost her way. Against all advice, despite her fear, she quit. Just like that.

In this episode, Reinvention Circle co-founder Peter Rubin interviews amazing guest Michele Gough about her reinvention journey.

She took a year off, traveled the world, and ended up finding her Romeo. No, we’re not talking about some hunk of man – we’re talking about a horse, a broken-down racehorse at the end of his career, whom Michele developed a fondness for and took into her care. This unlikely friendship was what Michele needed to find herself again.

It’s a great story! And it’s packed with lessons that you can apply to your own reinvention.

If you want to ask Michele a question about the show or know more about her business, reach out at michele at michelegough dot net.

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In this episode we teach the antidote to your old habit of refusing to ask for help. And we show you how to ask for the help you need.

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Want to know what to avoid so that you don’t fail in your reinvention efforts?

This show is about the top ten mistakes that Reinventors tend to make.

Reinvention 101 is a series of best practices to help you reinvent yourself and your life more quickly and successfully while having more fun as well!

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I am so curious to find what she is reinventing inside, what she has to heal, and what she is learning to love.

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We’ll be talking about those “big-M Mistakes” – the ones we get stuck in again and again, that could be avoided with a little extra perspective or support. These forehead-slapping, “ughh… I shoulda known better” mistakes set us back and waste our energy.

Without further ado, The Top 10 Mistakes Reinventors Make –

	1. Refusing help: Also known as the “macho reinventor” or the “lone wolf syndrome”, it sounds like “I can do it, I should be able to do this myself”. It means refusing (or not even seeing) the guidance and support that surrounds us. Refusing help is driven by pride, fear, and deep shame that may be masquerading as courage, but true courage looks like vulnerability. As soon as we’re vulnerable and open to being helped, you’ll see allies everywhere, you’ll accept offers, and our reinvention process will get back on track.
	2. Putting a Band-aid on a broken bone: Thinking a failing career or love life can be magically patched up by a new job or lover. It’s a shallow fix that doesn’t undo the pattern underneath. It’s called “Wherever you go, there you are!” – you drag our old selves into new situations and end up creating the same old results.
	3. Ditching your dream for the “safe” thing you hate: You’ve always dreamed of someday – one day! – being a fiction writer. But you’re miserably working as an ad agency copywriter. Groaaan. You get laid off, and what do you do? You freak out and decide to do a night-time MBA program. “It’s a good, safe move. Gotta pay the bills, right?” Except you don’t even like business. STOP RIGHT THERE! Ditching your dream to satisfy your anxious mind will only dig you deeper.
	4. Shaming yourself: Our culture is dishing out images of what success looks like – they’re usually clean and pretty, nothing like the hot mess that is reinvention. So it’s no wonder you eat them up, beat yourself up, and shame yourself for not measuring up. Stop the insanity! “Oh I’m such a piece of shit, I feel so alone… where did I go wrong?” What a waste of energy, and a vicious cycle –  others pick up on your shame and reflect it back to you, which you take as further proof that you’re worthless (not true!). Here’s to finally celebrating and honoring yourself as “a work in progress.”
	5. Not trusting the process: When you forget to trust the process, you thrash about, kicking and screaming bloody murder – “Something is going terribly wrong here. This is NOT how things should be!” You grip the steering wheel way too tight and it’s exhausting. Or you can let go, trusting that divine intervention, a deeper soul guidance, or whatever the heck you want to call it can steer better than you can! It will redirect us, redefine us, and help us bring out our best and most authentic selves. As Einstein famously said, “No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it.” So why do you keep on trying?
	6. Believing your sob story: You make up small, sad stories about yourself. Your partner dumps you and you tell yourself, “I’m going on 40… nobody will want me.” Or you lose your job, and think, “I’m outdated and nobody will hire me”. You get so entrenched in your sob stories that you lose the ability to envision bigger possibilities for yourself. When someone sees through your B.S. story and calls you on it, you get angry and defensive. “No, you don’t get my pain. That’s ME!”
	7. Getting really stingy: You make “I don’t have enough” into a sad little mantra, saying “I don’t have enough time to love and cuddle” or “I’m too broke to take a vacation”. It becomes your reason to turn down every opportunity for joy and generosity. And the more you say it, the more it reinforces your downward cycle of scarcity. You stay in the job you hate “because I don’t have enough savings to retire yet” and then scarcity follows you into retirement – “I shouldn’t touch this savings. I’m petrified. Money’s DRAINING out of me!” Yikes. The way out of this trap? To love and share freely, even when your stinginess says “you can’t!”
	8. Confusing your “yes” with your “no”: You say “yes” when you really want to say “no”, and vice versa. You acquiesce when you boss asks you to work late, again (“I just can’t say no!”). Then you say “no” to dinner with the kids and your evening run. And you wonder why you keep getting sick. When you don’t honor your inner compass, NOBODY wins. When you say “yes” to your fears and how convincing they are, then say “no” to following your true calling, you’re locked up in a prison back there, living a life that’s not your own. “Who’s life is this? I don’t fucking know myself!” So get your priorities straight. What’s really really important to you? You gotta have the courage to find your real voice and follow it.
	9. Endless consumption, no integration. You read advice like this all the time. You have a pile of self-help books on your nightstand but you skip over the reflection exercises at the end of each chapter. You think you’re learning but the new concepts don’t actually sink in and make a difference. Take 5 minutes (we dare you!) to reflect on what you’ve taken away from these “reinvention mistakes”. Bonus – add one of your own as a comment on this blog post!
	10. Underestimating the job: We come to reinvention in a painful tangle of bad habits and destructive patterns. We want to be free of our lifetime accumulation of shit, PRONTO, and we expect that to happen in one call, or one week, at most a month. When that doesn’t happen, we whine “How long is this gonna take?” or quit “I don’t have time for this” or blame the process. The quick fix mentality is killing us. Our reinvention starts off like a seedling tree. It’s our job to water and tend to it every day so it grows and thrives. It will take years, if we’re lucky, to have a tree that’s sturdy enough to hang our hammock.

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This article was slated for publication in our July newsletter, which never ended up going out. My bad. Better late than never, right? Thank you to Taylor for pouring her heart out, Kate and Marie for editing this piece.

What if our personal reinvention processes could revolutionize how we end relationships that aren’t serving us? First Wave Reinventor Taylor Whitfield took on this experiment just weeks ago.

Within the first few weeks of RC, I realized what my commitment to reinventing relationships would require: a complete resurgence of power. I had thought I had high self-esteem. But when I looked at my long list of flings, it was clear that my love life reflected the truth, rather than the story, of how I saw myself.  I began to see that I had been settling for less than I deserve because I didn’t really believe I was worthy of the best. The circle gave me the confidence to begin demanding all or nothing. No more waiting by the phone or taking what I could get — it was time to experience the whole package.

Soon after enthusiastically setting this intention, I was swept off my feet by a guy whose uninhibited affection brought me to new heights, and who was also totally unavailable. I knew he was trouble. There were red flags flying even before our first date. And yet, I had never felt such a strong connection to someone on so many levels – and with so much passion. He told me upfront that he could not offer me certain things (i.e. commitment) that I wasn’t sure I wanted anyway, so I looked into his dreamy blue eyes and said, “That’s okay!” We then proceeded to form an intense bond, promptly expressing our undying love for each other and riding off into the sunset on his motorcycle. Literally.

Despite his warnings, I was still shocked when, three months later, he dropped a bomb: that he had met someone else. He also added that he wanted to be with his dream girl — and he was pretty sure that wasn’t me.

OUCH! Inner Superwoman down. How do I reinvent my reaction to that?

At first, I didn’t. I felt the feelings. I had sad sex with him. I scrambled to figure out how to make it work in spite of those wrenching realities. And then I felt deeper into what the RC calls my “higher self”.

Her voice had been whispering to me all along, telling me I deserved better. I ignored her because she held the ugly truth: that I wasn’t being fully respected. I knew if I listened to her, it would be the end of things. I ignored her for a while, until the love I felt turned into hurt. And hurt turned into anger. In this angry place I met my higher self, whom I’ve named Big Bertha. She’s the source of all my
power. When I feel her, it is like being in the presence of a dear old friend. Her wisdom seeps out of her like a steeping tea bag, and we brew together until I’m ready to act from a place of wholeness and strength.

By accessing Big Bertha, I was able to see the situation with clarity: as much as I wanted it to be, this was not the nurturing relationship I had been craving. It was, however, a chance to reinvent myself! Instead of interpreting the situation as proof that I’m not good enough, I was able to accept the facts for just what they were. I mourned the loss of the man I loved, and was grateful for an incredible learning experience. I noticed the serene absence of judgments and fears.

Grounded in the love within me, I no longer needed affirmation from this person. I understood that he had done his best, and that to do my best would be to say goodbye to him. And so I orchestrated the most beautiful break-up I’ve ever been part of. We both cried, expressed our appreciation, and agreed we would do it all over again. I felt a wave of triumph wash over me as I drove away from him for the last time. Finally, I am honoring myself as the unstoppable, amazing woman that I am.

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